Score: 10

"For REALZ this time! And it's worth the wait!"

submission: Super Mario bros Z ep.8

date: October 10, 2009

At first I was just glad it wasn't another fakeout. Then I saw the powerups and the tandem attacks and the badass new villain and I couldn't even blink.

Score: 4

"Eyestrain from searching for vials..."

submission: Being One - Episode 2

date: August 13, 2009

Pixel hunting is not much fun...taking twice as long as I should because I couldn't find that one last vial because it blended perfectly into the background is also not fun. I hope the next episode has puzzlef that are actually puzzles instead of scavenger hunts.

Score: 0

"How do I cut myself?"

submission: Forgotten Escape

date: March 17, 2009

I keep trying to use the knife on the hand, but that just switches to the hand.

Score: 0

"Slow, slow, SLOW!!!"

submission: Artificial Junk

date: February 24, 2009

The robot moves slowly. He shoots slowly. He upgrades slowly. He also can't maneuver to avoid the numerous attacks on the later levels. And none of the upgrades do anything to improve the firing speed.

Score: 1

"Harder isn't always better"

submission: Ribertium War

date: January 27, 2009

I'm supposed to shoot down the enemies before they steal ore. So why am I stuck with a slow-firing, slow-to-reload peashooter of a gun that takes several shots to bring down a single enemy? And how am I supposed to do that when other enemies keep getting in the way of my shot, and there are several enemies stealing ore at the same time? Sure, I can get upgrades, but they're not cheap, and I have to wait for those gathering robots to slooooooowly pick up the ore and bring it to me. And when I finally save up for a better gun, I have to wait for a power-up icon to drop before I can use it, which is just in time for the enemies to get away with the last of the ore, game over. This isn't a challenge. It's just a pain in the ass. The graphics are okay, but that's it.

Score: 3

"Has a cool gimmick, but that's all it has."

submission: Crunchdown

date: October 10, 2008

My guy can eat different things to gain a variety of powers. Cool. Too bad everything else about this game blows. The gangsta motif is played out/ it's not really clear which things can be eaten. Most of the time, there are no edible objects, so I had to rely on the simple hand-to-hand combatr, which has all the depth of a mud puddle and is useless when I'm surrounded, which happens a lot.. Evasion is pointless, because this guy takes about three hours to move his slow ass out of the way and the enemies have no trouble hitting him while he moves. Pass.

Score: 10

"TOTALLY WORTH THE WAIT."

submission: Super Mario bros Z ep.7

date: October 3, 2008

I never saw this episode's big twist coming. I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but I will say it's more than the one-off sight gag it first appears to be.

Score: 9

"Finally on Newgrounds!"

submission: Mental

date: January 24, 2008

I've played this game on other sites. Good to see you've finally joined Newgrounds. It's a well-designed puzzle game in the vein of The Lost Vikings. The only problem is has is that it's sometimes hard to see upcoming danger in the close view, and it's too hard to make out the details in the far view.

Score: 1

"Just like Ratchet & Clank, except it's not good"

submission: Doktor Fallout

date: January 23, 2008

I like the concept. Blowing away hordes of aliens with a variety of weapons. But the execution fails utterly. The doctor is annoyingly slow both running and jumping, which makes it way too difficult to avoid taking damage. But worse than that is the guns. They are HORRIFICALLY weak. It takes several seconds of constant fire just to bring down one enemy, and collecting the powerups they grab usually just results in more damage taken because, again, the doctor moves too slow to avoid enemy fire. Speed him up, increase the firepower, and while you're at it, tone down the annoying death-metal soundtrack. It was salt in an open wound.

Score: 0

"It doesn't work for me"

submission: MrWalters Grand Excursion

date: January 16, 2008

When I start the game, it takes me straight to level 1. When I complete it, I get a brief glimpse of the map screen, then it goes straight back to level 1. It's even worse knowing that the game is working fine for other people.